Friday, November 4, 2011

Making mistakes

I'm wondering when I'm going to stop writing "weaning is hard" posts. Not today, apparently! This week I have encountered a really unexpected challenge with weaning. I thought that getting Ellie and I on separate diet paths would be good for both of us - I'd be on an expanded diet and she'd be able to stay in the holding pattern that's working well for her. But it's not that simple.

What I didn't anticipate is that with my newfound freedom, I'd want to bring Ellie along with me to enjoy a host of new foods! It's not that I had specific foods in mind that I was desperate to add to her diet, but I just wanted my newfound sense of liberation to include her.

And so this week has been an absolute mess of unplanned food trials. This week I've exposed Ellie to citrus, red peppers, a pinch of raw brownie, potatoes and a buckwheat cookie. Not smart.

The citrus happened first and it was because we were at Costco and there was a man there doing a Vitamix demonstration. Ellie got really excited that the guy was making a green smoothie (gotta love what my kid gets excited about!) and the guy added an orange and some lemon to the smoothie. I tried to walk away, but Ellie was very intent on tasting it and I just didn't find the strength to risk a meltdown and force her to leave. So she tried some. And actually she did far, far, far better than the last time she had citrus, about a year ago, when she vomited all night. This time she woke up once in the night with a tummy ache and peed through four diapers in a row. I've never really talked about that symptom on this blog, but excessive urination is a symptom of a food sensitivity, fyi.

The red peppers happened because Ian bought some and I felt like eating them and I didn't want to tell Ellie she couldn't have them. Argh! Another stomach ache. But then the peppers happened on the same day I gave her a pinch of raw brownie, so I have no idea what caused the stomach ache. See where I'm going with this?

The potatoes were actually planned but because she ate them in the midst of all these other things, I have no idea if they are OK or not.

The cookie was another case of me eating something new and (hopefully OK) for me and I couldn't resist sharing. Ellie had a giant meltdown that indicated the cookies were not good for her blood sugar, and then a big gross poop, which I suppose means buckwheat flour carries a bit too much fiber for her right now. They were made with ground sunflower seeds, buckwheat flour and honey. And actually they turned out to be not so great for me because I had terrible reflux myself last night, which I haven't experienced since going on GAPS. No idea if that means I shouldn't eat buckwheat, or honey. Double argh!!!

Sometimes I feel a bit like a diet dictator because I have kept things so strict for Ellie and myself. But whenever I give myself a tiny bit of space to go off the program, it's apparent that I've become so strict for a very good reason.

Managing two diets is hard. In some ways going off Ellie's diet has been a blessing for me. Overall I definitely feel healthier being able to eat more fats and protein like coconut, eggs and beef. But I'm really struggling with keeping our diets separate. We've been inseperable for so long. But I really need to learn that just because I felt stilted by her diet doesn't mean that she does, and moving her off her diet before she's ready isn't going to do her any favors.

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